Technology Pandemic

This morning, I saw something online that stopped me in my tracks.  
An unflattering picture on Facebook of a familiar teenager who looked high as a kite. No, it wasn’t the camera causing the red-eye.  
I’ve seen that same photo of my own child. 
  
I decided to write about what I consider to be a new age pandemic. 

We can all agree that the computer might be both the most ingenious and the most controversial tool of our modern age. Our children do not know life without it.   When it’s used for it’s intended purpose, it is invaluable. 
When we overshare without a purpose, it can haunt us for the rest of our lives.

Back to Facebook…  A brilliant social networking service.  
A great way to reconnect with old friends, advertise a new business or 
promote a cause.

What some might think to be an appropriate post on Facebook is subjective.

For example, I do not believe that it is in good taste, or responsible for that matter, to post pictures of teenage girls in bikinis.  It is amazing how many mothers splatter the walls of Facebook with half naked photos of their high school daughters. 
Helloooooo ?

I have seen pictures posted of young people who are obviously drunk or high or both.  I have seen pictures posted of young people in compromising positions on sofas and in beds with others.  It may be subjective, but I think that it is dangerous. If we don’t think that present or future employers look at this kind of garbage, we need to pull our heads out of the sand.  

We have got to put a daily APB out there reminding the Facebooking world, 
and especially our children, to use some discretion. 

Let’s leave something to the imagination.  


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Mixed Blessings

One of my favorite songs is “Blessed”, by Martina McBride.  The lyrics are a mantra to me and I have been known to belt them out in front of the bathroom mirror.       (I love to sing, although some might say I need lessons.)

During the holidays, a lot of emphasis is placed on counting our blessings and I consider my son to be one of my greatest…  

On the other hand, holidays with an addict can suck.  Plain and simple.
Stress is high enough under normal circumstances.  Add a heaping helping of unpredictability and you’ve got a recipe for disaster.

Four years ago, his arm was broken in a drug-related altercation with a friend.
I never heard the whole truth, but it sounded like they were both to blame. 
Whatever.  By the time the story got to me, it was full of holes.  He spent
half a day in the ER having his arm set and the rest of the holiday in and out of a percocet haze.  We did make it to the 5:00 Christmas Eve service at church; 
he looked like a million dollars in his coat and tie and slept through most of it.

He spent Thanksgiving and Christmas 2011 in jail, was out for a while and will be in jail again this year.  Some consistency.  
At least I know where he is and that he’s safe.

Last week, the Denver facility prepared a special Thanksgiving meal.  On the phone that afternoon, he said “Mom, it wasn’t exactly your spread, but it was OK”. Knowing that his South Carolina grandparents would be in Virginia for the weekend, he wrote to them individually and mailed the letters to our house.
My mother’s birthday was Thanksgiving Day and he wished her Happy Birthday and told her that he was sorry that they couldn’t be together to celebrate.
My father’s letter had the same thoughtful tone.

The third letter was to me:
“Mom,
I just wanted to tell you that I love you.  Thanks so much for being there for me through this difficult time.  I promise that I am working hard to better myself so that the next 50 years for me are worth living.  I have reached the end of the road for this disease.  I miss you and love you more than you know !  Love, your son.”    
   
I ordered his Christmas presents online thru a Holiday Package Program.  
A $75 maximum order for canteen items from Louisiana sardines to moisturizing soap. These are luxury items that cost extra and can be purchased if the inmate has money on his books or through this program.  I’ll also order a few more books through the internet to arrive by December 25.

I have learned not to look too far into the future.  
I am thankful for the gift of perspective.  

For today, all is calm ……







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Dr. Oz and ADHD

I LOVE The Dr. Oz Show !
(I have also met Dr. Oz, although he wouldn’t remember ….)

On today’s show, (Nov.21)  Drs. Ned Hallowell and Sue Varma, leading experts in ADHD, discussed adult ADHD.  
Although we associate ADHD with children, millions of adults have this medical condition and it is often undiagnosed, especially in women. 

Red Flag for Me ….

Worth going to the Dr. Oz website to read (or watch) what they have to say. 

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ADHD/LD

Over lunch recently, my friend, Kathleen, offered some good advice: 
“Write about the happy times, too.”  

She has been following my blog and I asked her for some much needed feedback… for two reasons.  We have parented children together and she knows a lot of the struggles our family has been through over the years.  
And, Kathleen teaches dyslexic and language learning disabled students at 
The New Community School in Richmond, VA.
  
She went on to remind me that a sense of humor is essential.

Happy times.  Humor.  Mothering addiction.  They don’t exactly dovetail.
But she’s got a point and I’m working on it.

As I mentioned in Change in Temperament  (Oct), my son repeated Kindergarten. During that second year, he was diagnosed with ADHD, which means that in addition to the attentional challenges, he exhibited hyperactivity and impulsivity.  
No surprise there. 
This extensive testing also showed learning style differences, also referred to as learning disabilities.  
This was a little harder to wrap my arms around.  

These diagnoses don’t come with a personal handbook.  And what I wish they’d told me was that the low self-esteem slowly growing in a child with ADHD and learning disabilities, after years of ongoing disappointments and failures, can 
lead to self-medicating.

The seeds of addiction, I realized, are sown early.  
As I recreate those years, I’ll keep an eye open for the good moments, too.
I’m sure they’re in there.  
Somewhere.

  


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